The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,100 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.
Days are just days, they have names like Monday, Tuesday and so on. Some days have a more symbolic meaning, like Christmas Eve.
So here I am. With Alissia, my youngest daughter. Alexandra, the eldest will spend the evening with her boyfriend. She has found love and I am so happy for her.
Yet I feel alone. There is nobody to share my heart with, warmth and love on this or other special days.
For some special reason one seems to feel more lonely during these days. Strange. But so true.
Then I think, well, maybe next year things will be different.
In my thoughts I am now with a dear friend who is sitting next to her mother’s bed in a hospital. Keeping her company in her last moments, it’s just a matter of hours before the inevitable last goodbye.
So don’t forget, my friends, while spending this evening with our loved ones, there are people who are grieving, loosing somebody close, there is poverty and war.
Let’s spend a moment and cherish these less fortunate in our hearts.
Merry Christmas.
PS. She passed away at 21:40 or so. A grand old lady. She will stay alive in my heart.
Have been working the better part of the day. Not with things that really need to be done like cleaning or so.
No, I have been submerged in my new project.
So the better part of this day I have been busy creating templates, creating a workflow in Dreamweaver, making the buttons for the galleries, modifying the Lightroom standard HTML-galleries so as of January 1st I can start with my project.
Now the only thing to do is being creative.
Had a talk about this project just yesterday. Told her, I’m engaging myself in taking one meaningful image each day. She looked at me as if I had asked something immoral, she stayed silent for a moment, took a sip of her drink I had bought her, looked at me with these beautiful eyes I would love to drown in.
This is really something stressful she said. Trying to create something. Hell, day one will be okay, maybe even day 30. But what then, when will art be overcome by pressure to do even better than the day before?
I thought about that for a little while, what she had just told me was true. Being creative, each day, doing something that is worthwhile of sharing with the world, it suddenly seemed like an impossible mission. She said, your project seems like a Twitter thing, something you do on Facebook, a photo a day. How stupid is this?
She is right and in a way wrong too. It was just a discussion over some beers, you can exchange ideas with a perfect stranger and the result can be at least satisfying. But it remains shallow as you don’t know each other. You have no idea what makes the other one tick. Saw her leave, in another world I would have asked her for her cell number. I didn’t though, regretted it later on that evening. Things can’t be undone.
At home, drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, I was thinking, hell, this is a serious engagement I’m taking. 366 Images, every day one, can I coop with this? When will stress kick in?
After the third beer I got more serene about this project. It is no more than being aware of what is happening around me. Seeing and seizing the moment.
How difficult can it be?
Saturday, 17.12.2011.
The year is running towards its end but I’m not looking back. There is still so much in front of me, enjoying each day to the fullest.
Although on Wednesday I had the blues. Went to fetch my first born daughter from school. We met at a parking lot, hugged, I waited while she said bye to some friends, smoking a cigarette. Looking at her, happy to see a beautiful daughter, self confident, madly in love with her boyfriend, a whole life in front of her. Tried to capture this image of her, it her last day of being 17.
Dropped her at her mother’s, went home and felt strangely sad.
Hell I thought, she’ll be 18 tomorrow, time has fled so fast. Can still imagine that evening, in the maternity, waiting , dressed in some silly green gown, overshoes and a mouth mask. Then the nurse called me in the operation room, everything was ready for the cesarean section. It was December 15, 2003, about 20:15 or so.
There I was, shivering, not only because it was rather cold in there. I was going to be a dad for the first time. I was 34, not sure I was ready for this responsibility.
Grabbed my wife’s hand, saying some stupid things I can’t remember, just to comfort her.
Saw how the surgeon made the first incision, it was fascinating. A second incision and then, can’t recall how much later, I saw my daughter lying there, a little creature, so beautiful.
No, I didn’t faint nor did I cry. This experience was so grand I just wanted to grasp every second.
They took Alexandra, they cut the umbilical cord and the gynecologist quickly checked my daughter. He nodded, everything was okay. Followed the nurse, saw how she cleaned up this little human being, weighed her, I made a picture of that moment, and then I took my daughter to the room where I talked to her, looking at her, trying to understand how fundamentally my life had changed.
A few years later, while being unemployed for a while, I took her every day to the crèche. In the late afternoon I fetched her, we played at home or I a took her to a nearby children’s farm. I can recall, as if it had happened just yesterday, how we where there, playing, when suddenly it started to rain. We sheltered in a small hut, talked about things I can’t remember, and shared some cookies I had taken with me. It is one of these intimate father/daughter moments she still remembers very well, a memory she cherishes. As I do.
We had a hard time to find each other after I left her mother, but things worked out well I guess.
Had one bad moment, a few years ago. Hell, got the phone call every parent fears. I was in Antwerp, having a good time, when my cell phone rang. An unknown number.
A woman’s voice asking me, are you Stephan, the father of Alexandra?
I said yes????
Your daughter has been run over while cycling she told me. But she is fine.
It was as if I had no ground under my feet anymore. What is fine?
So I said, hell lady, want to take the her.
Heard Alexandra’s voice, she was crying, hurt. But she was still there.
Said I love you and give the phone back to the lady please. Told the police officer to take her to that hospital. Jumped in my car and drove as a madman to the hospital finding her in E.R.
Took her in my arms, we cried.
There was still a future together and that is what counts.
NYC Photographer Jamie Livingston shot a Polaroid photo everyday for 6,000 days, or, roughly, 18 years. The first shot was of his girlfriend at the time on March 13, 1979.
His last photo was on his deathbed, dying of cancer on October 25, 1997.
And so I ask you, how strong is YOUR commitment to a creative life?
I should make more time to write on this blog.
Two weeks ago I bought a second hand iPhone 3Gs and immediately downloaded the Hipstamatic, the Swankolab and the Instagram apps from the iTunes store. Having really fun with them. They are cool apps unleashing ones creativity.
In January I ended my 100 Photographs Project and was looking for something new to do. Then, I few days ago I finally got an idea.
Starting on January 1st 2012 I’ll be taking one iPhone photograph a day, documenting my life, or rather, some moments. And this project will end on December 31st 2012.
This means 366 images as 2012 is a leap year .
To keep this project manageable, I’ll be posting 7 images each week, on Sunday in the late evening.
I’ll create a Facebook page of course and a special gallery on my website, called The iPhone Files.
Inside my fridge
My dear colleague Sébastien borrowed me his Nikon 10.5mm f.28 fisheye for the weekend so thanks Séba.
This lens gives an angle of view of 180° and creates also huge distortion at the borders of the frame, something normal for (extreme) wide-angle lenses as the example shows.
It has limited use. Imagine taking a close-up portrait with this lens. You’ll get an enormous nose and a distorted face, not very flattering.
One can use it for artistic purposes or when taking images in a cramped place.
Used it yesterday night to make some star images. Pointed it right up to the dark sky and took a few shots combining them in Deep Sky Stacker creating thus a 1’15” exposed image. It shows a part of the Milky Way. I cropped the image as a part of my roof showed up in the image.
The sun is shining and its super outside with a mild 15° (59° F). This could be one of the last great days for months to come. Staying inside would be a shame.
So this afternoon I’m going to the National Botanic Garden of Belgium to have a walk, to enjoy this day as much as I can. My Nikon will be accompanying me and I’m going to take the fish-eye with me. Maybe I can do something creative with this lens. We’ll see.
Boy, am I feeling great! Feels like walking on clouds, enjoying and feeling each moment in a very intensive way.
Well, as long as it lasts anyway I might add.
Have a great Sunday!
I love my telescope, a Sky-Watcher Newtonian, 130/650. The view is tack sharp and crisp, resolving power is great. But it is heavy and not easy to transport down the stairs, I live on the second floor with no elevator.
Then there is my desire to do some deep sky astrophotography. For this it would be great to have a motorized scope to track the stars during long exposures.
Been looking for such a scope but even without exaggerating my prerequisites, they don’t come cheap so at this moment I can’t afford such an instrument. Then there is the question of mounts. Which is the best for astrophotography? So many questions…
Information, of course, can be found on the Internet but as always, it’s in bits and pieces, and one has to do a lot of reading before getting a real overview.
Then I thought, let’s think the way around and start small to get accustomed with these computerized scopes, and, more important, get to know the sky.
Checked some second hand sites and found a Meade ETX-70AT, a small and portable scope. Not top notch and certainly not ideal for astrophotography but the price was okay and, optional, it can be hooked on a computer so the software drives the scope.
So yesterday I drove to Zottegem, a 30’ drive from my work. I felt really bad with this emerging cold and a sore throat. Sneezing, coughing, and feeling cold, then warm again.
Arrived, checked the scope and drove home, arriving almost 2 hours later due to heavy traffic. Unpacked the scope and then, really feeling sick, went to bed.
This morning I awoke feeling like I had been run over by a train. Got up, sat in front of my computer for a few moments and then went back to bed.
At noon I fetched my daughter at school and the rest of the afternoon was spend doing almost nothing. Except for reading the manual of my scope and getting around with the computer controller.
Now it’s raining, clouded and I feel still miserable but a little better.
Going to have some tea now.
This morning Gittan and I had an appointment at the Arboretum of Kalmthout near Antwerp. As our exposition opens on Saturday, October 8th, we had to hang our works. We spend about 2 hours just doing that and afterwards we had a cup of coffee in the garden.
My work - I
My work - II
There is no official opening, we are not present, there is no drink nor a speech whatsoever. It’s like a turtle. It lays its eggs in the sand and that’s it. When the small one hatch they find their way to the ocean on their own. So will our images. They are there for two whole months, on their own.
Gittan's work - I
Gittan's work - II
We deliberately didn’t name our work. So there are 24 untitled photographs.
It will be up to the viewers imagination to see a story in each image.
Cup of coffee
The exposition runs from October 8th till November 30th, 2011
Arboretum Kalmthout
Heuvel 2
2920 Kalmthout
28.09.2011
It’s my weekly free day as I’m working in what they call a 4/5th working regime. Great to have a free day extra. Of course there is no free lunch so I do earn a little less but that’s not really an issue as you get a great return on invest. The only problem I find is that I have the impression that times passes more rapidly.
Got up early this morning. Went to the laundry parlor then, after about 45’ went back to dry the stuff and start a new machine with the bed sheets of my daughters. This weekend they are with me and as always I’m looking forward to it.
At 10:15 washing was done. Made the beds of my kids, went through the house with a vacuum cleaner and after that I took some time off to work on some pictures. I’ve an exposition that will start on Saturday, October 8th. I’m doing this together with a great photographer I met on FB and I pushed her into doing this with me as I find her work very good. I had to work very hard to get my first gig so I find it not more than normal to give other creative people that little push I didn’t get. It’s not a big deal of course.
My Canon Pixma Pro 9500 Mark II told me it had run out of some ink so I jumped in the car, drove to the next village and bought the necessary cartridges.
Printed 4 images, checked them, had to do one over as it had a little white spot. Yes, I could retouch it, but with the paper I use it’s a tuff job so reprinting it is just the better option.
In the early afternoon Alexandra came over. She has been ill for about a week now and she wanted me to scan some schoolwork she got from a friend. It was about cosmology and (radio)telescopes and other stuff. Asked her if she wanted me to give some extra information and explain the topics discussed. No Pops, she answered, I’m going to learn it and, well, I’m not really interested in this stuff. It’s just boring school stuff I guess.
After an hour or so she left. Took a beer out of the fridge and headed to my terrace to have a smoke. Then the doorbell rang. It was Alissia. Yo old timer she said, let’s have a stroll in our shopping street. All right kiddo I answered giving her a big smile. O yes, Pops, can I have an ice cream? Sure, little one, I told her, let’s hit the street.
And that’s what we did.
Later on I took a shot of a spider. After developing the image I went back to see if the critter was still there and to my great consternation it was lying on its back. Dead.
Removed the corpse. Went back in my apartment, cooked a meal, consumed it, went back outside with a beer and a cigarette. On the same spot there was now a fly. Also dead. Hell, maybe I have some Bermuda Triangle sort of shit going on here at my terrace.
Anyway, I had still some work to do. Like cleaning the apartment but that didn’t take very long.
Now it’s now almost 20:00. The sky is clear, the horizon, I’ve a clear view on the west, is as red as blood. Some trails of aircrafts are making deep orange lines against the darkening sky. There are already some stars visible. Beautiful.
Now I’m having the last beer of the day. Outside it’s still warm, mosquitoes are bugging me. I feel lonely. Happy though, but alone. Should grab a book or so but I don’t feel like it. Just typing this blog thing, feels great to play with the keyboard, with words.
Well, maybe I’ll have another beer, another smoke just to top of the day.
Then I’ll go to bed.
Have to get up early tomorrow.
